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Khristen
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Country: United States
State: Missouri
Birthday: 7/5/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Umm....yeah... I have quite a few hobbies; though I don't really do anything, but lay around.
Expertise: I excel in self-pity.
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
8/18/2003
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| I breathe you. I breathe for you. I breathe because you allowe it. If you were to call out "STOP"...my lungs would die from the excessive cancer that you have given me. The radiation only burns my skin, giving yet another reason for you to look down on me. Look right past my, or do you even see me? Do you know how I suffer at your hands, wraped so excessively tight about my throat? Do you know the amount of sheer pain I endure each day I see you? Each day I long to hold you, to be close to you, to just be recoginized in more than the passing. I give you all that I have; all that is mine to keep. The only part that can not be taken, that can not be truely stolen, I give it to you. And do you take it? Do you smash it into the dirt like another one of your innumerable cigarettes, or toss it out the window to be hit by passing car? No! You leave me to smolder in my own degradation. To be washed away by the evening rain, all while you pull another one, just as good, or even better out of the pack. The pack that never empties. You pay no mind while I am here, but will you miss me when I am gone. Am I an addiction for you, as you are for me? Do you seethe anticipation when we are apart? Does your mind play games with you when you try to search for honest conclusions? Do your senses highten and you body betray you when we are nestled together? Do I ask, I beg, I plea with you, answer me! Do not let me rot in my own emotions. Please, come back and liberate me from the torture which you have put me in. Do not abandone me. For if left to my own devices I will never prevail. I can not shake this, though I can not hold onto it either. Will you play with my emotions like another one of your vidoe games forever, or will you one day set me free? | | |
| Hello people. I know it has been a long time since my last update, but I have had a lot going on. During the last few months my life has completely turned to shit. I now live with my grandmother. My brother T.J. got kicked out of my apt. I have to have my gaul bladder removed. I can't work, and I can no longer fit into a single item of clothing I own. On a brighter note I am moving, but not until March. My friend Kim and I are moving together. We had planned on moving a lot sooner, but with recent problems we have decieded to wait until spring. I guess it can't hurt anything. at least we'll have more money saved up by then. If Kim ever gets a job. | | |
| Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin to the country,
gonna eat me a lot of peache.
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can
they were put there by a man
in a factory downtown,
and if I had my little way
I'd eat peaches everyday
Sun-soakin' buldges in the shade
Take a little nap were the roots all twist,
squished a rotton peach in my fist
and dreamed about you, woman
I poked my finger down inside
made a little room for it to hide,
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Those of you that know me well, or even remotely in
this case, for I make no secrete about it; know that I dislike
children. Dislike, dislike is really the wrong word to use in this
case. Think of it more as an extreme loathing of nearly all juveniles.
With an added hatred towards babies and small toddlers. Family or not,
just their very sight grinds on my nerves. Seeing them, hearing
them, or just being in the same room as them give my aura a
negative glow.
So, for me to find out that I am to give birth in
half a turn of the wheel is a major setback in my lifes dull
odyssey. The arrival of this horror has dealt blows unto my well-being,
integrity, and my wavering faith.
It has been almost a month since I have been capable
of working. I am physically sick. I have lost a total of eighteen
pounds in three weeks, and I am currently on a variation of six
different medications. I return to see my doctor in the morning (as I
do about three times a week) to find out if he is going to put me on
maternity leave. At three months I find it absolutely ridiculaes to
even be considering such measures.
As for my integrity. I find myself once again
questioning who I am. I always thought of myself to be above
stereotypes. Say what you want, but everyone knows exactly what I'm
talking about. --Eighteen years old, chic goes out and
meets who she thinks is Mr. Right. Goes and gets herself pregnate.
Drops out of school thinking daddy will stick around to take care
of her and their child. Next thing you know dad's busted for selling
dope, and she's a single mom with no education, or job experience to
speak of.-- Kinda puts a damper on my already failing
self-esteem.
My faith is an issue that I would rather not go into
at this particular moment. My bout with religion is best not to
be settled in a fit anger. For all my aggression is not intended for
it. More a self-righteous quest for answers that I already know.
For those of you who know what has happened since I found out, I think
you will see how this song is quit fitting. It describes my feelings
and in some cases support a few of my actions, past and present, toward
the issue at hand.
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| WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU BEEN HERE? | | |
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